


I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified

by ChryseisYumi



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Feelings, M/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 11:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4477952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChryseisYumi/pseuds/ChryseisYumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Bruv, I’ve nowhere to go, I’m gonna have to go through the door.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare –“ Harry started, but Eggsy spoke over him.</p>
<p>“I’ll be fine –“</p>
<p>“Eggsy, no –“</p>
            </blockquote>





	I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mongoose_bite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mongoose_bite/gifts).



“Merlin, mate, you've got to be shitting me.”

“Language Eggsy,” Harry said, staring intently at the display screen from behind Merlin, observing as Eggsy’s point of view swayed side to side in the dark hallway.

“Fuck off Harry, now ain’t really the time,” Eggsy retorted as he launched into a run. Harry smiled fondly, prompting an eye roll and a grunt from Merlin who had caught his expression in the reflection of the computer screen.

“Like I said, the security system is deeply encoded,” Merlin said, bringing them all to the very concerning problem at hand, “it’s going to take us at least fifteen minutes to crack it,” he continued as he frantically typed away on his keyboard, lines of code swishing by on the screen to his right. Harry’s grip on the back of his chair tightened.

“I don’t _have_ fifteen minutes, goddamnit, _they’re right fucking behind me_ ,” Eggsy whispered harshly, panting from all the running and fighting he had already done that day.

“Merlin, make it five,” Harry said, crossing his arms to keep from showing the anxiety he was feeling. Merlin scowled.

“I can’t just fucking make it five minutes, it doesn’t work that way –“

“I’m at a dead end – there’s only a door.”

Merlin cursed and checked the other screen where Roxy’s feed was showing. Harry’s grip on the fabric of his suit tightened and he bit his lip.

“Just hang in there for a few minutes, Lancelot is almost there – fuck, _keep on running_.”

“ _Merlin_ ,” Harry pleaded, stepping forward, breathing slightly erratic. The man next to him grunted and quickened his typing even further.

“Bruv, I’ve nowhere to go, I’m gonna have to go through the door.”

“Don’t you dare –“ Harry started, but Eggsy spoke over him.

“I’ll be fine –“

“Eggsy, no –“

An explosion sounded through the speakers and Eggsy’s feed blanked out.

“Eggsy,” Harry exclaimed, body going still as panic consumed him. His sight zoomed in on the blank screen and he didn’t even hear Merlin curse as he typed away and yelled at Roxy to go faster.

“Eggsy, god fucking damnit,” Merlin said angrily, yet it was obvious he was panicking just as much as Harry was. “How close are you Lancelot?”

“I’ll be there in two minutes,” Roxy replied, breathing laboured as she ran.

“Make it one,” Merlin barked back, turning his head toward another computer screen. “Arthur.”

Harry didn’t hear him, still only seeing the blank screen and hearing the explosion ringing in his ears. He clutched at the edge of the table, pale.

“Arthur,” Merlin repeated firmly, his voice louder and harsher, “Arthur – _Harry,_ I need you to focus. Message Percival and tell him to get the helicopter moving _right now_ –“

“Harry?”

Merlin froze and Harry’s heart leaped into his throat.

“Merlin?”

It was broken off and barely understandable, but there was no doubt that it was Eggsy. Harry let out a shaky breath and cleared his throat, eyes blinking rapidly. Merlin slumped in his seat and grabbed the microphone in front of him tightly, bringing it directly to his mouth.

“Eggsy, you _fucking idiot_.”

“ _OW_ , what the bloody hell was that for?” came the broken off question. Merlin ignored it.

“Are you alright?”

“I don’t think I can get up, but the umbrella managed to get most of the blast damage,” Eggsy paused, before continuing, “I don’t think anyone’s near me anymore either, so that’s good.”

“Okay – alright,” beeping sounded from Merlin’s right, alerting him to his success. “The security’s been successfully breached, so just keep still – Lancelot’s almost there –“

“Galahad!”

“There she is,” Merlin said, relieved, and typed something into his computer, “The helicopter will be waiting for you by the time you get out.”

“Thanks mate.”

“Just don’t do anything stupid again,” Merlin muttered back and turned off his microphone, turning around to look at Harry, who stared at Roxy’s feed where Eggsy’s injured form grinned at her cheekily. Relief was all over Harry’s face, yet he still looked unbelievably pale, hand clutching tightly to the edge of the table as he leaned on it for support.

Feeling the concerned, yet knowing gaze on him, the man slowly turned his head and looked at Merlin before raising a trembling hand toward his face, pushing his hair away from his forehead.

“Bugger.”

Merlin just sighed in response.

“Let’s go to the hospital ward.”

 

* * *

 

Harry stared at Eggsy’s sleeping face, tracing his eyes over his scratches and bruises as he took a seat next to the bed. He didn’t even try to resist the urge to touch the boy and placed his hand on Eggsy’s chest shakily, eyes trained on its steady movement.

He needed to be sure Eggsy was alright, because even though he had gotten a drugged smile when Eggsy had been wheeled into the hospital room, roughed up and burned a bit, yet _alive_ , it just wasn’t enough.

It wasn’t enough to hear the reports of what injuries the youth had gotten and it wasn’t enough to get a doctor’s reassurance that everything would be okay as long as Eggsy got some rest. No, he needed to feel the young man’s heart beating in his ribcage; he needed to see the rise and fall of his chest, and he needed to feel the warmth of Eggsy’s skin beneath his palm. He needed to be close to him to make sure Eggsy remains being okay.

“Shit,” he muttered, leaning his forehead onto Eggsy’s arm, trying to contain the raw emotions running through him.

He could’ve lost him. It wasn’t the first time, and it certainly will not be the last time Eggsy’s going to be put in such danger, yet the knowledge of those facts did not provide any solace for his worries. There were so many things left unsaid between them. All the looks, the flirting and the touches shared between them were amazing, yet nothing Harry so desperately wanted to say or hear was ever uttered out loud. The incident earlier that day made him realize the uncertainty hanging in the air; the unpredictability of the next day. Eggsy could get terribly hurt again; Harry could get hurt – they could both _die_ at any given time. It made him panic just thinking about it.

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified,” he said into the quietness of the hospital room, clutching at the fabric of Eggsy’s hospital gown as the need to blurt all of his emotions out finally overcame him. “I’m terrified of these feelings and I’m terrified of what this might mean for us.”

Harry was quiet for a few moments, gathering his thoughts as he lifted his head slightly and grasped Eggsy’s palm, carefully entwining their fingers together. His thumb traced over the other’s skin as he spoke through the haze of his emotions.

 “I’m terrified of losing you. I don’t want to ever lose you.” Harry pressed his lips to the back of the Eggsy’s hand and shakily exhaled against the skin. “So, _please_ , at least _try_ not to do something that stupid again.”

The hand in his grasp twitched and closed around his palm.

“Bruv, you should try telling me all this when you think I’m awake next time,” came a croaky voice from above him and Harry straightened up so he could catch Eggsy’s tired gaze with his. Eggsy offered him a soft smile. “If I’m sleeping I can’t really respond, now can I?”

“Eggsy,” Harry started, but was stopped by the feel of the hand in his grasp giving him a comforting squeeze.

“Harry, I feel the same.”

“… Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They stared at each other, eyes displaying all the intensity of their feelings. It felt as if a few hours had passed, even though it was but a few moments when Eggsy spoke again.

“You don’t get shot in the head again and I avoid explosions from now on, yeah?” he teased and Harry smiled at him in amusement and fondness. He stood up and leaned over Eggsy, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Agreed.”

“No more running round in circles around each other then?” Eggsy asked and Harry pulled away just enough so he could lock eyes with him again.

“No more running round in circles.”

“No more flirting and touches either?” was the next question, and the teasing quirk of Eggsy’s lips made Harry let out a chuckle.

“Oh, we’re definitely still doing that,” he hummed, rubbing their noses together. “It’s very entertaining to see Merlin frustrated.”

“Good, we have a deal then,” Eggsy replied with a grin, hooked an arm around Harry’s neck, and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Harry responded eagerly.


End file.
